A first impressions starts with the handshake. If you study body language or write about it, here’s the scoop on handshakes.
I often get emails from “over aware” people who are a wreck because they aren’t sure how to act or move. I always encourage them to just be natural and sincere and it will all work out.
However, if you are looking to improve your body language, use it to learn about others, or describe it in your books, then here are some things to think about for handshakes. Let’s start off with a quick video on some of the common types of handshakes.
Don’t forget, handshakes and greetings vary around the world. I think in general, most will accept a handshake from a Western man, and a Western woman would be wise to respond to but not initiate handshakes.
In North American, it’s common to “pump” the handshake for 2-3 seconds. The rest of the world commonly just clasps hands and generally hold for up to 10 seconds. Also, take your cue for smiling from others while shaking hands – it often isn’t appropriate in a business setting.
Other types of handshakes that you may see include Colombian women who often grab forearms with other women. In Germany, it’s considered rude if you shake hands while the other is in a pocket. Don’t forget to take those gloves off before shaking hands in Russia.
There are also different reasons to shake hands. In Iran, shaking hands with a child shows respect for their parents.
Not all cultures greet with a handshake. In Lebanon, they may just nod. In Zimbabwe/Rwanda the women are known to curtsy. In China, they nod, bow and sometimes applaud. In India, they greet with palms together, finger tips up and handshake, but women often prefer not to with men. In the Philippines, greetings are with quick raise of eyebrows. In Itally, hugs and kisses are common greetings. In Japan, they often bow and shake hands. In Kuwait, men shake hands only when they meet for the first time.
The “proper” distance to stand away from someone also varies by culture. In North America, we stand far enough away where we don’t need to lean forward to shake hands. In Asia, it’s farther away. And closer in middle eastern and latin countries.
Here’s a little interactive slide overview if it’s helpful.
TRAVEL TIP: There is a “World Customs & Cultures” application for the iPhone. What a great way to ensure your body language doesn’t offend or give the wrong message.
TRIVIA TIP: Handshaking started hundreds of years ago in Europe, as it was common to carry weapons strapped to the forearms. The hand was clasped at the forearm to show each man was unarmed. As the gesture became modified to hand clasping, the shake was used to dislodge any hidden weapons.
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